These Rusty Gears

I've literally been sitting at this computer for over two hours. Typing and deleting. Shaking my head and groaning. Distracting myself by watching Ellen videos and eventually coming back to this screen with a flashing cursor, daring me to try.  

By way of a brief introduction (since this is my first post on a new blog), I am Megan Kate. I'm a middle school English teacher, traveler, laugher, and overthinker extraordinaire. 

I had a blog at one point in my life, back in my college days when the hip thing was to have a blog that looked like Grandma scrapbooked it.

Wanting to re-enter the world of blogging to participate in the Slice of Life challenge (and more importantly to participate in my own Live My Life Better challenge--which writing and reflection help me accomplish), I pulled up that old blog. It was such a trip to see the design of ribbon widgets, polka dots, and splashes of blue background. Skimming through my old posts, my eyes caught flashes of memories so far removed from my current life which is a bit jarring since I feel like it all just happened yesterday. These posts represented such a different version of myself that it felt wrong to add to it now. I decided to preserve the old blog as a relic of past things said and done so I can start this journey fresh.

Ironically, my brain is feeling anything but fresh at the moment. I've been stressing out about getting back into the writing game. I've grinded through this post, probably making it so much more difficult than it needs to be (story of my life and how this blog got its name), but my brain keeps coming back to this one moment from today...

I walked out to my car in the biting wind at the end of my work day, hopped in, and turned on the Criminal podcast while I warmed up my hands and my engine. After the teaching day I endured, I decided to reward myself with a Costa Vida dinner. This is dangerous because my days are often rough and I find that I reward myself way too often. The crew over at Costa Vida probably know me by name at this point. Turns out that was more than true tonight.

After I ordered, I pulled around to the window and handed my credit card to a sweet blonde girl in pigtail braids and a visor. I recognized my former student immediately. I smiled at her, not sure if she could place me outside of the classroom (because teachers live at the school, right?!) and because it's been a few years. She smiled back as she swiped my card. When she handed it back along with a plastic bag swinging with the weight of my burrito, she said, "You were, like, the best English teacher ever." I almost started crying then and there. That sweet girl had no idea how much I needed that today. Good moment.

I want to do all I can to continue to live up to that sweet compliment and be the best teacher I can be. One thing I know I've neglected is my own writing, so I'm excited to start this journey to improvement today. Here we go.

Gears are essentially wheels with teeth. Wheels get us places, but those teeth allow us to dig in with some force. Thanks for struggling along with me as these rusty gears of mine start turning again. 

🖤MK

#SOL18 Day 1

Comments

  1. Oh my goodness! What a gift! I'm almost tearing up. "You were, like, the best English teacher ever." That makes it all worthwhile, right? So happy that you got that boost just when you needed it along with "a plastic bag swinging with the weight of my burrito." Lovely description!
    Slice on!

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  2. What a perfect moment. It's unique to our profession that we leave a yearly legacy... and good to remember to live up to each student, every year. I love your introduction and blog title. Welcome back to daily writing practice!

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  3. Beautiful post -- of remembering ... I keep thinking, someday, I will cull through the old writing and figure out who I was ... but ... still figuring out who I am through the writings of today.
    Kevin

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  4. So much to celebrate with this writing. You can do it!

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  5. Glad we'll get to see some digging in on your journey, and we definitely already have. Such great voice and honesty here!

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  6. I was so glad I clicked on your link. You definitely need to be writing and sharing, and, by the way, I absolutely love the title of your blog. I can relate! I look forward to reading your Slice of Life each day. God bless.

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  7. So glad you are writing for SOLC. Sounds like you have many tales to tell. You do it well. I love "Live My Life Better " challenge. Writing helps me do that too.

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